An apology to St. Augustine.

I don’t always like the words you say.
You have done much to influence the world.
Everyone falls in love with your heart.
But, still, I never knew you. And don’t want to.

Then I found the words you spoke
Which cannot fully be contained by small letters
No, it reaches beyond my heart to a place which may never have existed before you.
And, yet you do not even attempt to make it yours.

You glorify God for it.
You seek the Divine presence.
But it’s not really about you at all.
Even though I thought it was.

It was about my lack of knowing truth
My lack of being comforted
My lack of being held when everything goes wrong.
My lack of present, physical grace…

It is my heart that does not accept
It cries out for that of which you speak
Yet, it does not want to believe it.
What is this divide in it?

“A man full of faith hope and charity has no need of the Scriptures…” St. Augustine On Christian Doctrine.